Recently a dear friend of mine told me it was high time to write another article. When I asked if she had any ideas on what I should write about, she said, “Well, your engagement, for one! It gives us single girls a hope.”
Well, I’m not sure how qualified I am to write about this subject, but I guess I can at least say a few things about what I’ve learned most in this courtship and engagement, and maybe it will give “single girls a hope.”
Years before I met my husband-to-be, I had made the decision not to date just to be dating, and although I knew there was a possibility I may date more than one person while searching for the right man, I still hoped and prayed that my first boyfriend would be my only.
When friends of mine began dating, I did at times feel lonely, and wondered if I was making myself too “unavailable,” because no one ever asked me out, very few even showed interest, and I never spent time alone with young men. (One of my favorite quotes to remember whenever I felt sorry for myself was by Elisabeth Elliot, to help keep my mind on the right track: “Refuse self-pity. Refuse it absolutely. It is a deadly thing with power to destroy you. Turn your thoughts to Christ who has already carried our griefs and sorrows.”) So I stayed patient, knowing that God would, if it was His will, send me the right man when it was the right time. Meanwhile, I kept occupied with homeschooling and housekeeping and other activities, and busied myself further with different jobs.
There were still days I felt that no one could ever love me, worried I would not be ready in time, and wondered if maybe God had planned for me a life of singleness. But in my late teen years, He began showing me that His plans were perfectly okay, no matter what they were or where they led me or how. I realized that waiting and still being single were NOT because I was “unavailable”—I was available, just not throwing myself out there. (And on a side note, if you aren’t married and worry that the good guys just don’t realize it yet, trust me: they know you’re available. They aren’t oblivious; they do notice you.) Anyway, so I realized I was still waiting because God wanted me to still be waiting, for a time, at least. (And hey, I was still just a teenager! Most certainly not time to start worrying about dying alone.) I knew that no matter how long I would need to wait, someday my future husband would come along. (I do realize not everyone gets married, but this was pretty much on the top of my list of “Things to Do Before I Die,” and I had faith I would someday be someone’s wife.) So I kept praying for my future husband. I’d been praying for him for as long as I could remember.
Little did I know that one day soon, when I would least expect it, there he would be, sitting across from me at a table at a Christian youth camp (the same place we had originally but only briefly met when we were about thirteen years old.) We waited a little while and just took time to get to know each other as friends before we decided to begin the courtship. We both believed dating/courting (whatever you wish to call the I-want-to-get-to-know-you-better-before-I-decide-if-I-want-to-marry-you-or-not process) was for finding a spouse, and that marriage, of course, was for life.
We began talking in January 2013 and quickly became great friends, hanging out together with groups of friends and family, and started dating in April 2013. Now, fourteen months later, we are eagerly anticipating our wedding this August!
God has truly blessed us, and I know He brought us to one another at the perfect time. The wait (even though, looking back now, was short), was so worth it. And as long as we put Him first in everything we do, this marriage will be one that will glorify Him.
So, for you single girls who need “a hope,” I say this: Hope only in God, because any other without Him will fail you.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)
“And now, Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in You.” (Psalm 39:7)
“My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be shaken.” (Psalm 62:5-6)
p.s. And while you’re waiting for Prince Charming, wait on the LORD. Serve Him daily, aim only to please Him, and work on becoming Princess Charming. Whether you marry or not, there is a King of all kings who loves you more than you can ever imagine, and He desires your heart more than any man on this earth ever could.
“By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” (1 John 4:9-10)
“…Christ… loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.” (Ephesians 5:25-27)
Have a blessed day!
Check out my similar post, Pray for Your Future Husband: